Before I get into the details of how to deal with a narcissist, I am giving you two scenarios.
Scenario 1: Whenever there is a conflict at home, your spouse always shifts the blame on you. He/she is never responsible for any miscommunication or problems arising in the relationship. On the contrary, they always protect them as victims.
If the same is happening in your life, your partner is narcissistic. So, you need to learn how to deal with a narcissistic spouse and have a better life.
Scenario 2: You have worked hard on a project and have successfully completed it. Now, your reporting manager projects it as his/her effort to the higher management to earn some brownie points. Your boss is a narcissist, for sure. So, learn how to deal with these situations.
Further, introverts are usually agreeable and sensitive. These characteristic traits allow narcissists to exploit them with their antagonist and attention-seeking nature. Nevertheless, as every problem has a solution, there are ways to deal with these narcissistic people.
How To Live With A Narcissist At Home?
As introverts, we are pretty clear about the people with whom we want to spend our time or share our lives. Suppose you have a narcissistic relative. You can always limit your communication with that person. Also, you can have someone as your buffer whenever you need to attend any occasion hosted or attended by that person.
However, things become difficult when your partner is self-centered. You cannot apply these methods in that scenario.
Here are a few guides on how to manage a narcissist (when it’s your spouse).
Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
NPD is a mental health condition. So, if you find out that your partner lacks empathy or is arrogant, you must educate yourself about the other symptoms.
Once you are aware of the symptoms of NPD, you will know the complex problems they face in their mind. Further, learning the symptoms will help you empathize with them. In addition, you will stop taking their hurtful comments as personal.
To put it simply, when you acknowledge that your partner has a mental condition, you will understand how it causes all the blame, games, comments, and actions. So, you don’t become unconfident as a person.
Tell Them How Their Behavior Affects You
Many people don’t understand how to talk to a narcissist as they lack empathy. However, you need to be clear in your communication if your partner’s self-centered activities hurt you.
You don’t need to be arrogant. Just clearly and confidently say that your feelings are important. You are getting hurt by your spouse’s behavior and words.
Consult A Therapist (For Yourself)
Your partner suffering from NPD definitely needs support from a therapist. However, to cope with the situation, you can also consult a therapist.
The therapist will guide you to prioritize your mental health. You will also learn how to not give in to the manipulations of your self-centered partner.
To take care of your mental health, you will also need to build a support system. If your partner has NPD, he/she may try to isolate you.
However, you need to nurture new or old bonds where you can find emotional support.
Set Clear Boundaries
People suffering from NPD feel entitled. They also need to intervene in every little thing going on in your life. Further, they don’t understand that you have certain priorities or needs. Serving them is not the sole purpose of your life.
So, communicate clearly and set boundaries about the things they can do or say. Also, be very clear about how much attention and assistance you can provide.
Don’t Internalize What They Say
Introverts are sensitive, and that is why it’s easier for self-centered people to exploit them. However, if your spouse is arrogant and lacks empathy, you have to develop a thick skin with time. This is a fundamental thing if you want to learn how to deal with a narcissist.
As I said, the hurtful comments and actions coming from them are not a reflection of you or your shortcomings. Those are an outcome of their mental disorder.
However, that does not mean encouraging or bearing with disrespect or violent behaviors. If you face cruel or apathetic behavior regularly, it is better to call it a day.
Leaving a relationship with a person having NPD is also very difficult. They are never willing to work on self-improvement and always want to have the last say.
So, prepare well in advance. Do not say “I am leaving you” just as a threat, as that will make the situation worse, adding fuel to their narcissistic traits.
To put it simply, tell your partner about quitting the relationship only when you are actually ready to do it.
How To Handle A Narcissist At The Workplace?
If you are encountering a narcissist at the workplace, deal with them smartly by playing by your strengths.
For example, introverts are famous for devising exit strategies in a conversation. Use this and other traits of yours to overcome tricky situations.
Here are some more tips on how to deal with a narcissist in the workplace.
How To Deal With A Narcissist At Workplace: Keep Everything Documented
Narcissists love to shift blame. They can stoop to any level to protect themselves in good light in front of the higher management.
So, keep even the smallest details about your work documented through emails. Once you receive an email about the details and deadlines of an assignment, send a follow-up email to get a confirmation on all aspects.
Further, try to keep interpersonal communication minimal so that the narcissist cannot manipulate you or hold you responsible for something you have not done.
Quickly Come Up With An Exit Strategy
Keep the conversation with the narcissistic person centered around work only. If you find that the conversations are becoming personal or about anyone else, you have to quickly come up with an exit strategy.
You can leave the conversation saying that you need to make a phone call, or you will think about the matter before sharing your opinion.
Make The Narcissist The Center Of Your Communication
A vain person always wants to be the center of attention. So, you can smartly shift the direction of a conversation to them. Compliment them or ask their opinions on the best practices under the current scenario.
Let them share their ideas as you save yourself from being the soft target.
To Sum Up
If you are an introvert and want to learn how to deal with a narcissist, you will have to understand that it’s a mental condition. If you encounter a self-centered person in your personal space, be empathetic but don’t forget to set your boundaries.
Similarly, if you come across as a self-centered person at your workplace, keep the communication minimal with a focus on work only. Keep communication documented so that you are not held responsible for their mistakes.
What do you think of the tips I have shared in this guide? Have you encountered a similar person in your life? What was your way of dealing with them? Don’t forget to share!
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